Author: Lilang Luha
Rating: PG (for cussing); will increase later
Genre: romance, shonen-ai, comedy, fluff, tension, quirkiness, eventual AU? eventual smut?
Pairing: Roy x Ed (slowly but surely), other pairings maybe in the background
Author Notes: Don’t own FMA. Blah, blah, blah. See the Prologue.
xposted in: fma_yaoi (sorry for the multiple posts!), fm_alchemist
Summary: Edward screamed, protested, kicked, struggled, and flailed, but eventually gave in.
Previous Parts: Underneath-Prologue, Part 1, Part 2
Part 3: Plaid Skirts
“Aw, you’re such a kidder!” Edward grabbed Al’s metal arm then dragged him forward, shoving past Roy and the woman. “Don’t you remember that Al and I were staying here for a while?” He grinned when he saw the confused look on the woman’s face and Roy’s glint of annoyance return.
“What are you talking about?” Roy said. “I never said such a thing!” He lowered his voice. “And as you can see, I’m a little busy at the moment.”
Ed plopped on the leather couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table. “Oh, don’t worry about us. You guys go on and do whatever it is you’re doing.”
Roy faced the woman and motioned toward the smug boy. “He’s a total stranger. I swear I don’t know who he is.”
Al raised his hand. “I don’t either.”
Ed pouted, then waved them off while he looked at the woman. “You won’t even notice us here.”
“Look here, Fullmetal --.” The colonel gritted out.
“So you do know them, and you truly were expecting this child to come?” the woman said in surprise.
The colonel shook his head. “No, Christina, that’s not---.”
“Yes, ma’m.” Edward straightened then made his eyes as big and round as possible. “We arrived here from the station three hours ago, but found the place empty, so Al and I went around and waited until now to come back and try again.” He feigned a sad, helpless sigh. “We were so hungry, walking around in such a large unfamiliar city….”
She turned with vehemence toward the colonel. “You made a child wait for THREE hours so you could go on a dumb date!?”
Roy raised his hands. “No, no! That’s NOT true! I don’t even know who these people are!”
Her voice was covered in deep frost. “You’re a heartless worm!” She grabbed her things and immediately left for the door as Roy attempted to appease her in vain.
Edward grinned a true grin then gave Al a thumbs-up. Al merely sighed then sat on the lazy boy.
By the time Roy was driving back to his townhouse from taking his date home, he had put on his military gloves and gave a few trial snaps in the car. He was warming them up for when he would incinerate a certain little blonde brat for ruining his evening. His thumb and middle finger tingled in anticipation of being used for vengeance’s great pleasure. Once he opened the door, he immediately flung his arms out with his fingers together, ready to snap at the Fullmetal brat that invaded his house.
“S-s-sir, Colonel Mustang, sir!” Al waved his arms around nervously, then stood up and saluted.
Roy let out a frustrated growl, and Al winced. Unfortunately, Ed was lying down on the couch fast asleep and unhearing of any noise or commotion.
“P-p-please forgive my brother, sir!” Al pleaded. “Him and me, I mean, he and I didn’t have a place to stay but then he got mad that you gave our dorm away, um, and you called him a rabbit and I tried to tell him we should just get a hotel but you know how he gets when he has that sour face because you just cant stop him but I truly tried and tried but he just wouldn’t listen and I’m sorry for ruining your date I know we ruined it but we didn’t mean to, we kinda didn’t mean to, we sorta maybe oh I DUNNO ---.”
Roy just sighed, then flopped onto the other lazy boy. He leaned back and stared at the ceiling, calming down a little.
He ran his hand through his dark hair. He was too tired to argue. Where do these kids get the energy? he wondered.
“Don’t worry about your brother.” He said. “You’re right. I doubt there’s any way for me to kick you both out without him doing something to cause my blood pressure to spike to unfathomable heights.” He motioned to the stairs. “I’ve got a spare room on the 2nd floor you guys can use. Do whatever you want, but just don’t go into my room.”
Al protested. “But Colonel, sir, we can go to a hotel first thing tomorrow.”
Roy waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. Besides,” He smirked. “St. Augustine is only five blocks from here.”
Edward screamed, protested, kicked, struggled, and flailed, but eventually gave in. He couldn’t win. Lt. Riza Hawkeye made him try on her old St. Augustine uniform the next day. He was in the closet room next to Colonel Mustang’s office (refusing to use the men’s locker room), and she threatened to have him be her target practice if he didn’t comply. He took his time dressing, annoyed at the thigh-highs occasionally snagging on his automail leg.
Hawkeye stood outside the door, and forced Edward out after he changed. Red-faced, cringing, and uncomfortable, he shuffled stiffly out of the cramped storage closet. Riza’s eyes widened. Ed’s mind reeled to paranoia. Hawkeye never showed that much emotion.
Oh shit. I look stupid. This is stupid. Oh my god, I am cross-dressing! I’m wearing thigh-highs. Oh god, oh god… “T-there’s no way this is going to work.” Ed sputtered.
Hawkeye said no response, but merely grabbed the younger man’s hair and tugged the braid free. Ed suddenly had a ridiculous notion that Hawkeye was going to rape him. Holy shit nooo! His mind screamed. Ed wanted to whirl around to stop her, but she quickly yanked the loose hair up until it stung and his protest died into a pained squeak. She used the same hair tie and tied his hair into a high pony-tail with swift, accurate precision, then his fears faded away and he scolded himself for panicking.
“Edward.” She sternly said. “Go into the office and look in the mirror.”
He stared dumbly at the marred office door.
She grabbed him by the pony-tail and dragged him inside.
The office stopped their activity and the room was dead silent. Ed tightly squeezed his eyes shut to keep from any embarrassing stares as his shoes dragged against the floor. All he heard was the quiet of the room as he waited for the laughing and name-calling to start, but none happened. When Hawkeye stopped, he opened his eyes.
Golden eyes widened at the sight before him. It was him staring back at the full-length mirror, and yet, it wasn’t him. He wore a white dress shirt underneath a knitted button down black sweater. The sweater bore an Eagle’s crest on the breast pocket made out of golden threads. The black shoes Hawkeye bought fit snuggly against the old black thigh-high socks. The only piece of clothing that didn’t fit well was the black, navy, and green plaid skirt, which trailed down a little below his knees. At least his automail leg was completely covered.
He then realized how red his face was and scowled. He hated to admit it, but he really could pass for a schoolgirl.
“Nii-san?” Al broke the silence. He walked closer and poked his finger on Ed’s shoulder.
Ed swatted the hand away. “Of course it’s me!”
Then he felt a hand on his head. “Wow, Ed. I barely recognized you!” Breda commented.
“Good job, Lt. Hawkeye.” Fury complimented, walking over to take a better look.
Riza merely shrugged. “I didn’t really do that much. It was all Ed.”
Ed grinded his teeth. “This is ridiculous!” He started to flail his arms around. “I can’t believe this! This won’t work! The damned skirt is too long!”
“I guess I was kind of a tall kid.” Hawkeye thought aloud.
Roy made his way back into the office after grabbing a fresh cup of coffee in the break room. He took a long, well-deserved sip only to hear a loud and familiar yelling.
“I AM NOT SHORT!”
He entered the room to see a crowd of people surrounding the full-length mirror and Havoc sleeping over his own drool at his desk. He took another long sip. His vision inadvertently skimmed to the blonde reflection on the mirror, which peeked out between people’s shoulders. The blonde figure had crossed his arms at his chest and had the usual tell-tale scowl. The older man eyed the clothing and the over-sized skirt which swam over the boy’s hips, and the thigh-highs which hugged one flesh and one auto-mail leg.
When he re-traced his gaze up the slim body, he was surprised to see a pair of golden eyes staring back at him through the mirror. The blonde still had his arms crossed, but there was no malice, and instead, surprise, shock, embarrassment, and curiosity about his expression. Nobody noticed as Roy stared back and ever-so slightly tilted his head. He wondered what made him not pull away from the beautiful golden gaze. He then felt a warm wet trickle on his chin and panic seized him. He had forgotten to swallow his coffee and immediately choked, sputtering a bit of it on his uniform while he scolded curses at himself.
The crowd immediately moved from Ed to Roy, asking him if he was alright. Edward turned away from the mirror to face Roy, but remained rooted at the spot, his hands bunched up by the sides of his skirt.
What the hell was that about?
After Roy regained his composure, he placed his coffee cup on a nearby table. He turned to look at Ed and smirked. Time for my revenge. Roy thought gleefully.
Oh shit. Here it comes!! Ed readied himself for a string of insults. He pressed his lips into a hard, thin line.
The older man walked over and stood in front of Edward, hands clasped behind his back. “I don’t believe I’ve met the lovely guest, Lt. Hawkeye.”
Hawkeye saw the amusement in the colonel’s cocked eyebrow. “Col. Mustang,” she said, “Meet my ‘sister’ Edlynn Hawkeye.”
“EDLYNN!??” the boy exclaimed. “What the fuck kind of name is ---.”
His complaints were cut off by the colonel’s swift movement. Roy picked up the boy’s human hand and he bent down to place a feathery kiss on his knuckles. His lips lingered longer than he had expected, enjoying the boy’s tenseness, and the warm satisfaction of feeling the pale, smooth skin on his lips. He had never felt anything so soft and supple. He involuntarily grinned at the new-found discovery, like a child finding a new toy to play with.
Ed felt the grin on his knuckles and immediately pulled his hand away, then flailed his arms again. The nerve of that man for making him even more uncomfortable. “Quit being such a gentlemanly bastard! Don’t give me this fluffy crap; you don’t need to! I’m a guy for crying out loud!”
“But as of now, you aren’t.” Roy straightened, but his smirk remained unfaltering. He would win this battle. “Besides, I like this new uniform of yours, Fullmetal. Makes you look as cute as a bunny --.”
Roy didn’t realize what hit him until he felt the impact of his head against the floor. He didn’t care about the pain on his face from being hit by an automail fist. He only rolled around the floor and clutched his stomach from laughing so hard. He faintly heard small footsteps stomp away, and a door being kicked closed.
End of Part 3: Plaid Skirts
TBC on Part 4: Miss Piggy
Lilang Luha: Sorry i took a bit of time to get this out Xo!! I swear I'll see this through! Thanks for reading!